Arm the children
Words on arming our children with a ridiculous amount of good & an education on what might not be so good. Might take them much too soon. Getting real and raw in this edition, loves.
My son is graduating from sixth grade tomorrow. I could summon up all the clichés from the depths of my person including, “it’s going by so fast!” - but in all reality, it is not. One of my goals in parenting my precious people has been to honor them. To show up as Presence herself over and over again. And, it feels especially grounding to say that I have done it and I am doing it.
Nothing is going by at lightening speed.
I am here in this.
I have been here in this even on my very worst, terrible, awful, very bad days.
What about you?
Are you fully present for the people in your life who need you? Are you willing to kick off your shoes and sit on the earth, wait and weep and listen and sing sweet songs of joy or lament with your people? Are you willing to be honest with them, too?
Remember, this is a guilt-free zone. Drop the shame at the keyboard and really listen to your souls leaning. If you aren’t present, maybe there is a good reason for it! After all, our earth suit is absolutely brilliant - keeping us from harm day after day after day. Also, sometimes it needs a little kick in the butt or a redirection of sorts.
Permission granted to take what you need from these thoughts. Always, always.
Side note: If you need some perspective on Parenting with Pain, the incredible Gabi Ruth invited me to be on her podcast last week. My voice is SUPER SOFT but might hold some good thoughts. I’m currently having my vocal chords looked at for another layer of wildness. (If you’re offering, of course I’ll take prayers and vibes and all the woo, too. Who knows what holds God’s attention most?)
More thoughts on our kids
These are ALL our kids, beloveds… let’s talk about that.
Yesterday, I came across another post about child loss - specifically teen loss - in my wider community. As I allowed the parental grief to loll about in my belly, some words came out.
Perhaps you need them too.
I call this bit of prayer and prose Arm the Children.
Arm the children. Arm them with a passion for life and each other. Arm them with gorgeous humans who will consistently show up. Arm them with some sort of relationship to the Divine. Arm the children with beautiful experiences and honest ones, too. Arm them with gratitude, an ample dose of optimism and hope, the ability to ask for help, a village of support, an appreciation of mystery and magic and art, self-confidence that does not come from pride, but from the mere fact that they know their value and their worth. Arm them with the understanding that they have value and worth simply because they exist. And, it is independent of any action they might take, any thought that meanders on through.
Arm the children with mentally-emotionally-physically-spiritually well parents, particularly mothers, but really all those who love and care for them. Birth them and/or raise them up. Arm the children with healthy churches and temples and mosques. Arm them with a sexuality that enhances their lives, that dually honors them and nurtures their path. Arm them with religious leaders that will not break their hearts. Faith in something, too. Arm the children with a few cups of sunshine each week that they know their true Mother. Arm them with a relationship with flowers and plants and animals, of all kinds. Arm them with pets!
Arm the children with an understanding of where their food comes from and what it does for their bodies, minds, lives. Arm them with friendships that both lift them up and last. Arm the children with a profound love of other and different. Arm them with their history, a knowing of where they came from, of what that means. Arm them with curiosity and kindness and roots, darling soul.
Arm the children, because our children must be loaded up with a ridiculous amount of good in order to both thrive, bring Heaven to earth.
If you do anything with your life right now, arm the children.
With the world being how the world is and me releasing my oldest into a new season where our real, raw conversations become even more real and raw, this is my heart on the page and prayer in the wind.
Because I really, truly believe we must arm them with a ridiculous amount of good that they might thrive. What about you?
Squeezes,
J. 🌻 @thebarefootpreacher
A note to all who love TEENS
The post I reference above about child loss specifically dealt with fentanyl & a teenage accidental overdose via trying marijuana. In my opinion, I think it is now safe to assume that all drugs that our children will or can come into contact with have a high likelihood of contamination by fentanyl.
In our home, we know this deadly drug well. One of my daughters closest friends lost her dad and her uncle to an unintentional fentanyl overdose on November 6, 2019. Yes, we can teach our children abstinence. And, they must have access to the tools that can prevent and reverse the effects of this awful substance. On this note, I would love to recommend following The Hummingbird Project & also, let you know that your teens can access Narcan in many pharmacies and carry that with them on a regular basis.
It's $10 without insurance, and whether they are personally using drugs or come across someone who has, it can save a life.
Our children will make mistakes, beloveds. It should not cost them their lives.
So, maybe we need to arm the children in this way as well.
I love you.
New here? Reclamation is a safe, inclusive and progressive faith-filled space where you can find contemplations at the intersection of caregiving, pain and peace. My promise here is to remind you of how to love well. Yourself, your kids, your neighbor, and the whole wide world.
Oh sis, your words here are a balm!!! I am sitting with the depth and beauty of each sentence. Deeply grateful for your voice in this space and the world! May we bring the radical gift of Christ consciousness to all of our children... Thank you!
Beautiful!