Earlier this week, I wrote a post about setting down my why at the intersection of real, raw life and a new malady. A new space to occupy amongst the countless others I have occupied in a disability adjacent (and sometimes fully disabled) body.
This is all I know…
I cannot why anymore, beloveds.
Because the why’s just might maim us; strip us of the best of us.
I have turned over every rock and leaf; written and re-written every family tree. Unpacked historical truths again and again and again. Each looks different in reference to time and season and new, exciting learned context. And also, has pulled me further away from solid ground. Has invited me into madness, grief.
Here I learned that I cannot unwrite the story behind me. All I have is the story that is within me, right now. Can I alter it? Perhaps. Yet, surrendering to it makes a lot more sense. Brings me more peace. If you’ve been here for a hot minute, you know I’m all about the peace.
What about you?
What do you think?
Do you live in a complicated body or life?
Have the why’s benefited you?
If not, do you need to say goodbye too? Make room for what is and the peace that is forever calling to us, inviting us in?
Womb & word
On this note, I want to invite you to stick around as we explore the notion of words as the warm womb-like embrace to keep us here, now, as we go through what we’re going through.
This week, these are the words that are getting me through:
“Being at war with ourselves cuts us off from our hearts and perpetuates suffering. When we can accept difficult emotions and the parts of ourselves we don’t like, we open the gateway to true healing.” - Tara Brach
Tara Brach is one of several Buddhist teachers (psychotherapist and bestselling author) that I love. Right now I’m reading the book Finding Freedom in Illness by former Buddhist monk Peter Fernando. As of his work on this book, Peter’s healing hasn’t been a bodily event. And so, he’s done the work (and might still be doing the work) to find peace here regardless.
I’ll end this edition of Reclamation with one final reminder/thought…
We cannot remain at war with ourselves and not be at war with all of what’s divine. As I step away from why I find myself with my eyes fully set upon what is good, still, now.
Today, I’m giving thanks for all of God around me.
The creeping passionflower vine on my back wall. The new hole my rabbits are slowly carving beneath their coop. (I’ll wake up one morning and they’ll be joyfully popping about the yard again soon, I’m sure.) The homemade broth that is maybe healing my gut. Or maybe it just tastes delicious. Dogs that need sunscreen.
The luxury of naps.
And, of course, you.
Once upon a time, someone told me that what we focus on we move toward.
I think it’s true.
I love you.
Squeezes,
J. 🌻 @thebarefootpreacher
New here? Reclamation is a safe, inclusive and progressive space where you can find contemplations at the intersection of caregiving, pain and peace. My promise here is to remind you of how to love well. Yourself, your kids, your neighbor, and the whole wide world.