"I can't look up."
Rescue edition. What to do when you can't look up. Also, what to do when someone you love can't. This weeks real talk is a MUST READ for us, loves.
Maternal Mental Health Awareness month is THISCLOSE to being over. And while I haven’t quite poured every ounce of energy into it like years past, I am now on solid ground-ish because I poured every ounce of energy into me (and my family) unlike years past.
Storytime.
Have I told you about the season when I hit rock bottom? About how everything collided over the span of 5 years… death, the end of my child-bearing years, weaning, financial distress, familial disconnect, sobriety, cancer, special needs parenting, more death, and bottomless grief?
No?
I think I have.
But maybe you weren’t here for it. Or you blocked it out. Or I thought I said it, but I couldn’t quite spell it out then.
You certainly couldn’t tell on the outside…
But on the other side now, this is what I can say…
Even when you can’t look up…
Try.
(This picture? It’s me trying hard.)
Please, please, please try.
PAUSE.
Let’s be honest with each other here…
Are you telling me you can’t?
You really, REALLY can’t?
Let’s honor this. Let’s STOP and find others to look up for you.
I’ll be one for sure!
Truly, this is how I recovered from my hardest season yet. And it’s probably how I’ll recover from my next one too. I’m not Home yet. (And neither are you.)
Clean up time.
We are all in need of rescue… of someone to clean up the mess. Messes we make ourselves. Messes life seems to hand to us… throw at us… so very unexpectedly.
You might be the person who cleans up the messes in your home too, my dear friend.
But I want you to pause here and answer this:
Who cleans up the messes in your life?
Have you ever thought about this before?
While soaking soiled shirts and kissing injured knees and re-washing kitchen floors or counters or tables… while mending the errors in your colleagues work - or your own - and begging for relationships to be in a better place and space…
Who is cleaning up? Who is nurturing you, nourishing you, tending to the flame of your spirit and soul?
This question is important; and I’d like to think it’s wise, too.
When we don’t look up - when we cannot find the goodness of the moment, day, season… no matter how small - our souls begin to break… Read more…
Two more reads.
To All the Weary Mess Makers (like me) who continue to need rescue…
Are you looking for pain free? I met with a good woman this week who reminded me that an herbal cure is what we often seek… when a lifestyle change is actually what we need. (Yes, my mind is still blown as a chronic disease warrior! Sometimes I do resist actual lifestyle change. Still human. Still. Always.)
In Nikki’s post she writes about the above idea of a “pain free life” and then expands…
Sometimes, I think we confuse ourselves into believing salvation and sanctification mean a surface smoothing over, rather than a deep down rescue.
This one hit me good and hard, loves. Read the complete post here - and let us know what you think.
One last read.
If you’re not struggling with looking up (bless you & thank you Jesus!) perhaps this meets you where you’re at: honoring refinement.
Special Needs mothering has generously supplied an abundance of refinement within my soul and ushered me closer to the heart of our Heavenly Father more than any other difficulty I've endured…
So thankful for you Lauren.
Right now, this is where I am at. Refinement has brought me to the feet of my Abba God’s throne and while I don’t remain there as a Wildling raising Wildlings myself… I am empowered by this. That at my lowest and in incredibly sad moments, I find myself exactly where I need to be most… in my Abba’s arms over and over again.
My wish for you is that you find yourself in this same space, dear souls. That you try to look up; seek out others to look up for you when you cannot… and continually find rest and refuge in a Love that is SO MUCH BIGGER (and better) than I could have ever imagined before the storms hit.
(Here, there, or somewhere else - I love you and I’m cheering you on.)
J.
Jennifer