I see you.
I see you, I see you, I see you. Love notes on being seen, transitions and some beautiful (griefy) reads + my next IG live on Monday night.
I’m popping into your inbox today with a simple question that might not have such a simple answer (I’m here for what’s real, love) -
What if you saw you?
All of you. Your wants and desires. The needs you don't talk about, yet live right under the surface of your blessed skin. What if you SAW you? What potential could you unearth? Would today be easier than the day before? Would you wake up tomorrow able to occupy this one precious life in a different, perhaps healthier way? WHAT IF YOU SAW YOU - your divinity and value and worth constant, regardless of circumstance?
This year I see me. And, I’m choosing me.
Not simply the bright and shiny version but the shadows of me, too. How much suffering has taken its toll on my cells. How much rising up offers, as long as we do not forget to process, digest and integrate the grief of what was. We are layered. Contain multitudes. Must honor all parts to remain and become whole.
So, I’ll ask again…
What if you saw you?
I want you to know that, for me, “seeing me” looks nothing like I expected.
I’ve had some gloriously high moments - deciding to work for myself full time. And some epicly low ones, too. Like realizing how much grief comes with accepting your body, mind and life as is - which for me was the catalyst for narrowing my focus.
If I were to express this season as a poem, it would be this -
We beg to be seen
set ourselves ablaze
so someone else
might say -
I gift you my gaze
only to realize
the eyes
we need most
are our own
I love you, soul friends.
If this resonates or if you need a mantra for this moment in time, perhaps you can borrow mine -
On this note of being seen and seeing, I’ve had the opportunity to read a few early copies of some absolutely brilliant books that are supporting me.
As I dig into my reality and I thought I’d leave you with two recommendations today -
As Long As You Need To by J.S. Park has wrecked me. I am three chapters in and expect to complete it by the day’s end. Joon has done all of us who companion folks as caregivers and therapists and birth workers and social workers and midwives (etc, etc.) some significant good. Every story offered just what we need to drop nose-to-nose with ourselves, our beloveds, our clients and/or patients for one more day. Thus far, Joon has shared authentically about perinatal mood and anxiety disharmonies, not knowing what to say/do & yet, showing up as whole as humanly possible, and has normalized talking about what we don’t talk about: grief, loss, transition, death, suicidal ideations and change amongst other things.
Pre-order here on Bookshop.org and here on Amazon.
Another fantanstic read? Blessed Are The Women by Claire McKeever-Burgett has been on my bedside table, in my car, and on the front porch with me for a several weeks now. Why? Because so much of my personal pain is rooted in past trauma and abuse that often centered on my female form. I learned quickly in childhood that my body was a burden. And, to silence my own opinions - my voice - to stay safe. Claire speaks from the heart in the voices of the women many of us have come to know from the Bible. I’ve never felt closer to these desert ammas than when I have this book in my hands.
Order today on Bookshop.org or Amazon.
Psst - I’ll be on Instagram live this Monday.
On Thursday, I had a lovely conversation with Diana Matthews talking about faith and grief. And this Monday night, I am joined by my soul friend Lanita Ugstad who honors grief through trauma-informed mindfulness, yoga and equine coaching.
We’ll talk about The Power of Grief and answer all of your biggests questions.
Even if you won’t be with us live, absolutely feel free to drop yours below or connect with me for a 1:1 spiritual direction session. These discounted sessions go toward my practicum hours, allowing me to use the skills that I’m learning in class (and using in my real, raw life) & to support you through what’s wild, beautiful human.
See you soon, soul friend.
New here? Dear Soul Tender is a safe, sacred space where you can find conversations and contemplations for those who mother, give (care) and grieve. Companioning you through complicated spaces including pain, trauma, and loss, my promise here is to remind you of how to love well. Yourself, your kids, your neighbor, and the whole wide world.