Breathe, mama.
Breathe.
On my recent travels with my tiny person who struggles with her mental health, I had an opportunity to do just this - breathe. We popped out of the city and into nature for a long weekend… and I can truly say that the impact this time had on my soul was profound.
For one, I had to stretch my own mental capacity to embrace that life isn’t always hard. We actually had an amazing time - with meltdowns taking up very little time.
Yet when I sat down to our Moms for Mental Health meeting that Saturday morning - in a precious little camper with decent wi-fi and frogs as loud as frogs can be - I was in a pretty awful mood. The first day of hiking had gone well! But I was stuck. Stuck on the brief hardness that came afterwards; and honestly, I was preparing myself for more hardness.
Listening to my dear friend Terri speak (audio attached) did something for me I really didn’t expect.
It brought me to The Well.
Will you?
Meet The Samaritan Woman
Let me set the scene: There is this woman who goes to the well for water - she’s on husband number five, I believe. And we get the impression that she is looking for something to ease her troubles here. Water? Maybe. The comfort of yet another human’s arms? We don’t know. What we do know is that she meets Jesus. And Jesus knows everything. (Everything.) In this, Jesus still offers himself as food for her soul: life-giving water to wash away the pain.
The Samaritan woman is transformed.
She runs back to the town saying, “Come, see a man, which told me all things that ever I did…”
Listening to this story again… and to Terri’s meditation (scroll down) brought me into a space of recognition - that often, I still go to “the well” (my own coping mechanisms and ideas that may influence healing in our home) instead of to the One who himself is a never-ending source of life.
What would happen if I didn’t?
What if I chose Jesus, first?
Pictured: Friday’s hike from Amitabha Stupa to Chimney Rock Summit in Sedona.
I’d like to leave you with some wisdom from Terri’s talk. After we finished recording and had some great conversation as a group, she shared this beautiful meditation.
A Mindful Moment
Take a moment to breathe before you read this meditation. Close your eyes. A few more breaths.
Imagine yourself at the well…
What does Jesus say when all of you is exposed - your choices… others choices… hurts, bitterness, resentment, grief… what does he say?
What do you say to yourself?
Breathe, Mom.
Now, read this:
I'd tell her its not all on her. She doesn't have to try harder, be stronger or push more. She can rest. Soon her feelings will align with her faith. Even if her faith falters and feels weak, it doesn't depend on her. Blessings aren't coming if she just believes more, has more faith, does more good or prays harder. She has a mustard seed and that's all she needs. He will do the rest.
She can fall into His arms. She can sit with Him awhile. She can let him take the burden.
Easy and light.
Her whole life has felt hard and difficult. She's had to hold it all. Not just for her but for others too. Giving it over, letting go. It's not easy but the thought of it thrills her. Could she really just lay it all down at his Feet? Could she rise up no longer carrying the weight on her shoulders?
I'd tell her to silence the lies, to be still. To wait. I'd tell her busyness is a distraction. I'd tell her to sit with him awhile longer, breathe him in. Get to know the smell of his presence, the touch of his goodness, the taste of his nearness. Get to know the rhythm of his heart. Steady, Constant, Good.
I'd tell her He is Sovereign. That he uses even this, for good. That nothing is wasted in his economy. That there is redemption in an upside down kingdom. And that as He weaves this tapestry, somehow pain has purpose, loss is gain and hurt finds healing.
I'd tell her to stop striving. Stop trying to impress or do better or do more. I'd tell her to fall into the ocean of Grace where she is loved, chosen and held. I'd tell her to live and move and have her being solely in Him.
I'd tell her to find joy in the smallest of things, to take delight in the most simple pleasures, to know Hope and Peace are a person not a prize to obtain.
I'd tell her to dive head over heels madly crazy in love with the one who created her inmost being. The one who knows her. The one in whom she is seen.
The one in whom she is seen.
As we part ways, may we remind you how very seen you are - dear one. So very, very seen.
Until we meet again,
Jennifer
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