Possibilities
In some seasons, potential matters more to the soul than what we can see. Plus, meditate with me Friday morning and find out about more upcoming events!
I prefer movies.
I prefer cats.
I prefer the oaks along the Warta.
I prefer Dickens to Dostoyevsky.
I prefer myself liking people
to myself loving mankind.
I prefer keeping a needle and thread on hand, just in case.
I prefer the color green.
I prefer not to maintain
that reason is to blame for everything.
I prefer exceptions.
I prefer to leave early.
I prefer talking to doctors about something else.
I prefer the old fine-lined illustrations.
I prefer the absurdity of writing poems
to the absurdity of not writing poems.
I prefer, where love’s concerned, nonspecific anniversaries
that can be celebrated every day.
I prefer moralists
who promise me nothing.
I prefer cunning kindness to the over-trustful kind.
I prefer the earth in civvies.
I prefer conquered to conquering countries.
I prefer having some reservations.
I prefer the hell of chaos to the hell of order.
I prefer Grimms’ fairy tales to the newspapers’ front pages.
I prefer leaves without flowers to flowers without leaves.
I prefer dogs with uncropped tails.
I prefer light eyes, since mine are dark.
I prefer desk drawers.
I prefer many things that I haven’t mentioned here
to many things I’ve also left unsaid.
I prefer zeroes on the loose
to those lined up behind a cipher.
I prefer the time of insects to the time of stars.
I prefer to knock on wood.
I prefer not to ask how much longer and when.
I prefer keeping in mind even the possibility
that existence has its own reason for being
-Wisława Szymborska
It's 5 am Friday morning. The sun is rising over my neighbor's house here in Phoenix. The chill that was in the air last week seems muted. Spring has come. She is coming, too.
I wonder how many of us are surprised by this; that spring sneaks her way back in.
Stuck in the gray of winter, grief, diagnosis, trauma, change, loss, we forget possibility exists. That spring might come again. And while possibility is an out there thing, not really supportive of the in here work that keeps us present in our bodies, minds, and lives… sometimes, it's all we've got.
The hope that something good is ahead.
The vision that we might feel better one day.
The idea that our baby will one day walk, the relationship will mend, a new business will boom.
Several years ago, a war going on in my body began to invade every cell of my life resulting in the diagnoses of rare diseases and cancer and then, a subtle “out of the blue” noticing of caregiver burnout. Here, potential saved my life. Because in the roaring chaos - some that I allowed, some I created and some I'm still questioning - possibility meant survival and maybe, one day, thriving.
In this season, aWhat if I heal? t-shirt was my apparel of choice.
An image of something better burned into my mind almost every moment of every day.
Was I fully present? No.
And, I think that is okay.
We are brilliant beings when it comes to survival mechanisms, beloved.
All of this to say, this is a love note for those of us who know complex life spaces and perhaps, are unable to remain within the container of now, here and today.
If potential is how you're getting through the days, I see you.
Healing is a life-long journey, beautiful human.
Does this resonate for you? Let’s talk.
Come SIT with me today.
I’m really excited to announce a few special events coming up for our caregiving bodies, dear ones.
Right now, we have LIVE MEDITATION on Friday morning at 9:15 MST on Instagram. I’ll be teaching a Postpartum Educator Certification program April - June (in person and online). And, we have our first GOOD GRIEF WEEKEND INTENSIVE coming up this May. A weekend-long event, you are invited to attend live in beautiful Mesa, Arizona (May is absolutely one of my favorite months of the year out here!) or virtually. This is a wonderful opportunity to further digest, process and integrate your grief as a self healer. And as a healing professional, you’ll receive increased understanding, tools and practices to re/shape not only your work with grieving bodies, but your entire life.
You can learn more or register for any of these events below.
See you soon, soul friend.
New here? Dear Soul Tender is a safe, sacred space where you can find conversations and contemplations for those who mother, give (care) and grieve. Companioning you through complicated spaces including pain, trauma, and loss, my promise here is to remind you of how to love well. Yourself, your kids, your neighbor, and the whole wide world.