When Challenge Strikes
Challenge isn't the end-point, beloved. In fact, it can be just what prompts us to make the changes necessary to live our best lives.
A short message for you in a season that feels… long.
Have you ever struggled with a challenge?
In your mental health? Your physical or spiritual wellness?
Does one of your favorite people? Or several of them?
If your answer is “yes” - I want to offer you a thought today. This year… my year of undoing years upon years of unintentional, self-inflicted body, mind, and soul harm.
A person’s story is their own.
This is my daughter in a recent performance. Many of you have followed us as - for the last seven years - we have figured out how to best love and support her mental and physical well-being. Bliss has a plethora of diagnoses, and sometimes I mention them by name. But mostly, I share what her experience of life is. With her permission, because she is nine and she is able to give us an exuberant yes or a hard no. (I honor both.)
Which brings me to this…
Over the last few years, it has become increasingly clear that my daughter’s story is her story. Her struggles are not mine. And while I have had so many words to say on this, I took this year to mostly focus on our joy. Not the challenges at hand. Interestingly, it's left me in this fascinating space of owning my own experiences. Thought and reality. Those that are beyond motherhood, of course, and those within it.
Why I’m sharing now
The holiday’s are often (okay, always) hard in our home. So today, I’m sending out this note. If your child - if someone you love - is struggling with their story, let it be their own. Set the boundaries necessary. Talk to a therapist or a dear friend. And remember, that challenge isn’t the end-point. It can be the launching pad for good things. Not immediately, perhaps. But one day. (Maybe tomorrow?)
So, please don’t close your eyes to this. In fact, open them wider and seek joy here and now. It’s worth it. You are worth it.
As a reminder, I think it's okay if we own our stories too. Recently, I commented on a friend’s post about mindfulness and healing. In response a total stranger listed all the ways I’ve “given up” on me - and I feel inclined to let you know that this message didn’t feel like it was chastising me for my walk. It’s just that she has hope for something that I haven’t seen yet (complete healing of a body with dis-ease); and me… I’m just owning what is - and honoring potential, always yes. But really and truly, what is. This moment here and now is fertile ground, darling soul.
Anyhow, if this season has challenged you… if life isn’t what you expected it to be… if your child or your loved one or you are feeling all the feelings… maybe joy is an answer. Scan your life for it right now. Explore what’s going right. The beauty that still shapes your own lived experience. And if you can’t - know you are still seen here. As the poet Rainer Maria Rilke said,
Perhaps then, some day far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.
Maybe you’ll live your way into joy?
I wrote a post on our evolution for People Hope this week.
Who knows what’s next, love.
All I know is that when I look at right now… particularly the joys… I’m doing okay. What about you?
Spoiler alert: next month we’ll be digging into this deeper with a wealth of free writing prompts you can use to find joy! I’m super excited about this.
I love you and I’m cheering you on.
J. 🌻 @thebarefootpreacher
P.S. Feel free to share this message on When Challenge Strikes. It might just resonate with someone else who’s walked or rolled through a similar season.
If today’s words have been some sort of shining light in dark spaces and places, please feel free to email me back. You can also click subscribe below for one or two emails a month - most of them just like this.
Did you know my book Bliss & Blue is available for a child in your life this holiday season? It’s all about the experience of parenting our wild child and finding the good here and now. Which still exists, even when we can’t see it. (Also, I can see it. My biggest win of 2022 by far!)
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