Once each month we send out a special edition of Hope Notes with the live recording of our Moms for Mental Health speaker. This is that edition. We began our “More Than Mom” series with Shanicka Vail House this weekend with a conversation entitled Even If. Let us know what you think.
What if God said that you had to experience loss in order to speak life into more beautiful, wonderful humans? What if…
Would you understand it? Could you?
On Saturday, we received a glimpse into just such a story. A story that is still unfolding. As Shanicka spoke to us about knowing self by knowing God - a conversation she named “Even If” - she received news of another deeply personal and painful loss (please keep her in your prayers, friends).
“As painful and frustrating as some of these real life things can be, we gain a greater revelation of who God is, who God is to us, and how to walk in relationship with others who are not like us - and we gain a greater revelation of self… who we are.”
- Shanicka Vail House, My Transparent Moments
As I personally listened and leaned into Shanicka's conversation with our Abba God (link above) it so resonated with my own journey. If you've been with me for any length of time, you know that over the last decade there has been an absurdity or twelve.
Shanicka amplified something we’ve heard time and again in our Moms for Mental Health group - that even if the outcome doesn’t look like what we desired it to look like God is still good. As Christy Bauman spoke of last semester, he’s also parent. Which means even if it the path doesn’t feel good, it might just be for our good.
Can I get an amen if this does and doesn’t make sense at exactly the same time?
I am no stranger to “Even If” moments, love.
And I’m willing to bet you aren’t either. Moments where we clearly reside at the intersection of faith and absurdity (forgive me Jesus) where we want to say, “even if it hurts, my God is with me” but can’t exist.
Questions for reflection.
Even if God does not (insert one of your big bold prayers here) how will you continue your faith walk?
Shanicka says, “The faith that only lands on if you will leaves me completely shattered if he doesn’t. But the faith that stands on because I know you can causes me to worship even when the outcome is not in my foreseeable favor or if it is not my desired result.” What does your worship life look like? What ground does your faith life stand upon?
One of my favorite ways to pray is to thank God for what has already been done (I reflect on the gift of Jesus’ humanity daily). If you were to look back at your journey, where has God shown up? Does this change your relationship?
We’ve called this series “More Than Mom” because our culture has placed an emphasis on this identity over anything else, often. If you were to place the emphasis of your personal identity on whose you are over whom you care for, would that change any aspect of your life today?
Whew. This conversation was a big one, dear one.
The mysterious ways of God can either upend our faith or drive us to a deeper space of reverence.
Which path will you choose?
“Through every absurdity this is our work: we tell the whole truth about life, and we praise God in all of it, for it is only in the truth that we can really see (and feel) Christ’s presence.” - Andy Squyres
Catch you back here, soon.
Much love,
J.
Jennifer Magnano
If you are not yet receiving our free bi-monthly newsletter for those who are clinging to some semblance of faith on the real, raw ride that is maternal-child mental health, it’s a great time to sign up. You are seen here, dear one. I promise.
Even if, what if, and other conundrums