What if someone told you that tomorrow you would wake up and it would be a terrible, awful, all around not-very-good day?
What if that someone was you?
A significant part of our human experience is to know pain, dear ones. For some strange reason, it is just how life goes. And while I-for-one cannot doubt that terrible, awful, and all around not-very-good days exist… I can also not give thanks enough for the brief moments, days, and perhaps weeks where goodness does persist.
In listening to Christy Bauman speak life into this space of God and grief and goodness and all of the stuffs of in-between, I was reminded of the many moments where grief has overtaken the lens through which I view the world.
I wrote about my own journey with one of the many paths of grief (living with chronic disease) this weekend:
It’s the Monday after my diagnosis and grief herself has rolled in. She whispers obscenities, strange in my ear. She says all the things that I would never say out loud. I speak life.
But grief, she speaks death, dear one. She speaks endings and loss and chaos and confusion and struggle and strife. She speaks the language of women unseen - not just me myself, but my women - my readers, network of fellow disease warriors and special needs parents, my ancestors, and the community of humans who also walk with and through (and often not far beyond) the lens of pain... (more)
Reading Christy’s book A Brave Lament, dedicated to her son Jackson Brave born-still in 2008, literally took me to the floor to weep with her and her partner. It challenged my lens… how I look at life, death, and what I’ve begun to refer to as the “art” of lament.
One of my favorite moments of our conversation with Christy was when she said something along the line of this:
God is God all the time. God is parent all the time. But God is not good all the time.
What happens when we look at our Abba God and do not see good - but parent? Does it challenge your theology? A few years ago, a similar thought challenged mine. As a parent, I am not always “good” in my children’s eyes. Do I give them candy every day and allow them to color on my walls and stay up until 2 am watching YouTube videos on DIY slime? Or do I give them clean food and healthy boundaries?
God is parent.
I encourage you to join me in conversation about this below.
(Make sure you take a moment to listen to Christy’s testimony, first.)
When life doesn’t look like we planned
As we part ways, I want to leave you with one more read for the week ahead. I thought these words by Amy Brown might resonate with you as they did with me:
When I stop and look at my companion my perspective changes… (more)
Can God be both parent and companion?
For me, it’s a yes.
For me, it’s a BIG yes.
Giveaway
One last note! We’ll be giving away Christy’s book A Brave Lament on social media this week. Make sure you are following us to be entered to win!
See you soon,
Jennifer
mfmh.org | instagram | facebook
Get to know Christy Bauman here
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The Brevity of Goodness